There are those of us who have smiles on our faces, but under the glitter lies a myriad of emotions and crevasses we don't know how to fill. They snake long - unattended gutters under the careful facades we have fashioned to appear glitzy and unmarred to the world. Truth be told, we hurt. We scream for help, but don't know how to ask for it. We ache but don't have words for it. We fall and blush crimson, then wipe away the tracks with a leafy twig. We hide. We try to run. We'd hate if the world saw our humanity and imperfection. Sometimes our facades crack a little and bitterness or tears leak out. We viciously swipe them away and look around furtively hoping that no one noticed.
I have been introduced to a variety of stories in my lifetime - some beautiful, some exciting, and some absolutely heartbreaking. I have also seen narratives that cannot and never will be laid out for the public eye as long as this earth continues on its orbit around the sun. And I wonder how often we have gotten it wrong and criticized too quickly. How often have we judged someone by the expression on their face when behind the smile or frown is a whole conglomeration of extra thoughts, emotions, and scenarios that we may never know?
If nothing else, perhaps we could learn to handle other people's lives and hearts with a little more grace. Instead of jumping to conclusions or adding a well-rehearsed piece of advice, we could listen and wait. Maybe we could sit still long enough to react with Holy Spirit love and forbearance instead of humanistic criticism and judgment. Just maybe we could.
I have also come to understand that stories can be confusing until they are finished. Too often we see people partway through a testimony or trial and assume all kinds of things when God is simply doing it in His timing and in His way. He is completely comfortable around people who don't have their life together and who make a lot of mistakes. Just read the Gospels and watch Jesus spend time with His disciples, find short Zaccheaus in a tree, and talk to the woman caught in adultery. Awhile ago, I travelled up to one of our orchard hills and jotted the lines below:
I sit atop the mountain, gazing over the slowly greening valley below. The naked grape vines angle up from the mud-laden earth like ragged skeletons from a grave. Fall dropped their leaves and stole their colour. Winter came and ravaged them completely. They have sat there hibernating, waiting, for five long months of frigid weather. The seed of life lies silently in surrender, waiting for the sun to shine its command and bring forth green luscious living once more. It looks hopeless and yet it is not. It looks messy and yet it is following order.
Perhaps that is us. Sometimes God allows seasons of brokenness and withering to occur so that the season of life appears as glorious and true as it ought to. Perhaps we are not really lost or hopeless. Perhaps we are simply holding a seed of life for the proper time. May the sun come again. And until then, as we wait in our broken crooked forms, let us have grace - grace for ourselves and grace for others. For we serve the Master of Heaven who is also the Master of Grace.
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