The Essence of This Summer...

This summer was good... and bad. Joyful... and frustrating. It had times that were tough and times that brought rejoicing. Questions were asked, questions were put on hold, and questions were answered. After all, life as a Christian is a journey. A journey of change, of growth, of failing and coming to our knees before our Holy God. After the storm comes sunshine, and naturally happiness and praise. But, this summer God has been teaching me to smile and praise Him even when it's raining. To worship with the joyful folks on a perfect CD cover even though there was a jolting rebellious movement within me to give the volume a terrific crank down to zero. I believe that living is a choice. And, although your heart is so heavy there is literal pressure inside your skin, or the best you can do is sit with tears streaming down your face, lift your heart to Jesus! He is the Healer of Healers! The world may seem overwhelmingly dark, but He will bring you through, and Heaven will only seem brighter. So, I encourage you to read this poem and allow it to speak to your heart. The essence of my summer, condensed to fit one page:

Jesus I Come..

I stand guilty, broken, before You,

Unworthy to stand in Your presence.

A failure at pleasing Your majesty,

A vessel repulsive to Your holiness.

I cannot live a life that speaks of You,

With my unrefined, human effort.

My righteousness is but filthy rags,

I fight just to revive Your love.

But deep within me, begs a prisoner,

To be freed by that same Power.

My heart faints and trusts Your mercy,

Without You I would die... Alone.

********************

 

As a candle slightly wavers,

My faith, a small and flickering flame,

Hangs onto the hope of Jesus,

Carrying me through joy and pain.

At times my heart is strangled,

And I vainly search for Light.

Flames of Despair seek to devour me,

The heat dims the eyes of my life.

When the Enemy snarls behind me,

And misery seems more than my share.

I run to my Saviour for safety,

His Love is the strength that I bear.

When life is full of confusion,

And joy has hidden its face.

I go to my Rock and Redeemer,

And my heart erupts with His praise!

 

                                    ~ C.H.

My All In All...

Today I stand amazed... In awe of God's presence, of His strength, of His great faithfulness. The simple reality of His love and forgiveness brings peace and calm. It's exciting to read His word and hear what He has to say. To spend time with Him each morning listening, speaking, and simply letting it all soak in in preparation for the day. But at the same time I remember a time when it wasn't this way. A time when I wrestled with simply believing that God is real. A time when I questioned the very core of everything I believed. A time when living was a task I simply dragged through, snatching a few moments of fun with no real goal in mind. But as I thought about it today I was reminded of so many times when God was faithful in showing Himself to me even though I didn't necessarily realize it at the time. Whether it was verses that He brought to my attention or people that He put in my life to encourage and challenge. Through everything I say God Is Faithful! It may not look like it in your life right now. Maybe you have a sin that you feel is too large for God to forgive, a temptation that you keep giving in to, or maybe God is simply quiet and you're beginning to wonder where He's gone. Let me share Hebrews 13:5 where God says, "I will never leave you or forsake you." And let me say when God makes a promise He WILL keep it. He is a God of grace. One of love, One of peace, and One of hope. He loves you and He has a great plan for your life. Just let Him have it! All of it.... And He will give you joy and peace in this dark world. He is your HOPE. The only One who will fulfil and satisfy. Come to Him with an open heart and a humble spirit. Allow Him to fill you and free you, to make you whole and complete. He loves you!

Revive Us Again...

Every spring our church has revival meetings, every year people are challenged, and every year some people are afraid that they might discover a hidden sin and need to make that long, humiliating trek up to the altar. I'm not exempt from these feelings and have had enough of these experiences in times past to warrant the question that I've been pondering. Why do we fear revival? Why do we make excuses and skip out on something that's so important to our soul? Why do we let what other people think of us get in the way of our salvation, our Christian walk of life, and worst of all keep us silent when people are dying in sin?



Jesus Please Use Me...

Lord, there's so many souls that are lost in this world.

Why should I be silent as Satan's lies are unfurled?
Lord, I'm only a human, simply saved by Your grace,
I deserve the fires of hell, with my pride, my sin, deceit.

Oh God, I tremble at my heart's wrong desires,

I stumble and fall down, in selfishness mired.

In my heart I doubt Your mercy, strength to stand for You is gone,

On my own, I am but nothing, pure love comes from You alone.

 

But Jesus, if only one soul could be saved through me,

I pray that you would open me, fill me, and use me.

Lord cleanse me and heal me, just open my eyes,

Take out the sin-stains, reveal hidden lies.

 

Lord Jesus, I pray for the boldness to share,

To pray for lost sinners, spread word to prepare.

Lord, you are God, please take my hand.

I pledge my allegiance to my King, to the Lamb!

~ C.H.

A Prisoner Set Free...

So, as promised, I will try presenting the insights and inspiration we gathered during the Gospel Express Prison Crusade this past month... For some reason, I had always had this little-girl version of a prison stuffed in the back of my mind... A building lined with heavy iron gates, linked by long, eerie, hallways coloured in a dull, formidable egg-shell paint, and most importantly big, scary, men, latched in handcuffs, who would hold clerks at gun-point, break into parked vehicles, and nab precious stones from the front counter at a jewellery store. A jail, to me, was a place where society's monsters were stuffed away and banished so the rest of us could live in peace and safety.

      On the crusade we went to minister to "the monsters".....  But as I witnessed these men crying brokenly in repentance, wishing desperately for a chance to start over, pain vivid in their eyes, they were no longer monsters... They became individual souls.... Broken, hurting people who have scars deep down inside. As one volunteer stated, "The only prison anyone is in is the prison of their mind." And as I witnessed the broken, hopeless state of these men in prison, I began to realize how similar our lives really were.

      All of us have a past, all of us have sinned, all of us have had  times when we've desperately wanted to start over. Sometimes the scars of the past are so subtle we barely notice them. Some have hung on for so long we've re-adjusted and nearly forgotten how life was without something between us and God. The Christians behind bars have ugly, sinful histories.... They're lives were filled with humiliation, shame, and defeat... But they've been set free... They can live with joy because they've let Jesus have everything they've ever done and watched the guilt dissolve in His blood.

      Maybe you're one of those people who appears to be free on the outside, but inside your heart is being strangled... Weighted down and defeated by the guilt of sins you've committed, things you know were wrong, words you wish were never spoken... Let Jesus have everything. Talk to Him and tell Him you can't take it anymore... Ask Him to help you let go, to resolve the bitterness, take care of the grudges, and to flood your life with His joy... He is the only One who can truly set you free!

"If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." ~ John 8:36

Prayer Request

In 3 days our family will be leaving to be a part of the Gospel Express Prison Crusade in South Carolina. This is a brand new experience for us and your prayers would be greatly appreciated!

The crusade lasts from Feb.10-14 during which we will be doing a variety of programs in 3 different prisons. I will share a post after the trip and hopefully share some new insight or wisdom gained while looking behind the bars to hurting souls and seeking people...  Thanks for your support and God bless you for it!

Here's a link if you'd like to see more info:
http://www.gospelexpressonline.org/home-page/prison-crusades/

Oh to Be Like Him...

Our Sunday school teacher shared this challenging poem in our class and in the midst of the holiday pressure to give the most expensive presents, make the tastiest food, and display the largest nativity scene, it's important to remember the real Gift of Christmas. Let Jesus be your glory this Christmas season as we celebrate the sacrifice He so humbly made!

Litany of Humility

By Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val 

 

Oh Jesus meek and humble of heart, hear me.

Deliver me, Jesus, from the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire of being honoured,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred to others,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebuke,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being suspected.
And, Jesus grant me the desire that others might be loved more than I,
That others might be more esteemed than I,
That in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease,
That others may be chosen and I set aside.
That others may be praised and I unnoticed,
That others may be preferred to me in everything,
That others may become holier than I provided that I become as holy as I should.

You Are Loved...

God created me and you for His pleasure and perfectly in His image. He was delighted with His creation and saw that it was good. But... we messed it up. Consumed with sin, we were no longer fit to associate with God much less to be loved by Him. But God loved us... I can't understand why or how but He did (and still does). In fact, He cared SO much that He sent His own Son down (literally killed Him on a cross) so that we sinful, undeserving, creatures, could live and worship Him.

In my mind I see a picture like this:

He looks at me with pleading eyes as He staggers under the weight af a heavy, dirty, cross meant for me. He is taking my pain, my guilt, my shame...

Inwardly I rebel at the thought of punishing someone so severely... I would never be so harsh as to kill someone on a cross. I'm really not that bad at all...

But when Jesus looks at me with those eyes of His. Purer and stronger with love than any I've ever seen, I feel dirty... Sinful, wretched, worthless, whatever you want to call it but I simply don't make the cut! He, the spotless, perfect, Son of God, is stooping low enough to carry a cross. One that He doesn't even need to carry... The pain and quiet determination in His eyes speaks volumes as He pleads with me to come and kneel at His feet where His blood can drip over me... Washing, cleansing, healing, my heart.

But as I consider it I think of my schoolmates who would make fun of me if I even mentioned Jesus' name and then  mocking visions of giving up a party to go to church, and getting up in the wee hours of morning to do devotions float through my brain.

I look back at the cross, covered in blood, carried by a beaten, bruised, and broken man. The Holy Son of God...

It's irrational, ridiculous really! There's no way I would let a man die for me... I'll make it on my own... He'll see..

Angered by the thought of someone even thinking that they would need to die for me, I turn and spit in the face of my Saviour before shouldering my heavy, black, pack, and resuming my journey down the Road of Life. I travel for miles, running quickly, trying to drown out the memory of the man carrying a cross. As the days pass my frustration mounts as I make mistake after mistake and the weight of the bag labelled sin cuts into my shoulder. At weak moments I allow myself to entertain short visions of the man at the cross and His fascinating eyes. The sorrow of His bent figure.. The piercing crown of thorns on His head.... The blood pouring from His wounds... I think back to the days of innocence... When every day was exciting, forgiveness came easily, and the pack on my back was small. Finally, in utter exhaustion, I take a close look at the pack slung over my shoulder. Memories of the lies, hypocrisy, and hopelessness of my past threaten to engulf me and I turn my face away in shame. It's then that I remember the face of Jesus... I debate a minute, than turn and head back in the direction I came from... As the cross slowly comes in view, my heart begins to pound, and I start running in desperation. The pack weighs me down and as I come to a halt at the foot of the cross, I drop to my knees and fling it to the ground.

I'm afraid to look up because I'm not fit to be seen and that bag of garbage I just threw at the feet of God are sure to disqualify me..

Then I hear a soft voice say my name.. So gently I'm afraid to breath but with a compassion that compels me to look upward. His eyes are like a magnet and they light up with joy as He says, "Rise up my child, Your sins are forgiven." Slightly baffled my eys fall to the pack I flung down minutes before...

I can't believe what I see! The pack: black, stained, and filthy is covered! Drenched in blood!

I look back at Jesus and He smiles as He explains, "You sins are under my blood, I have taken Your punishment. Child, you can go free!"