How About We Quit Fakin' It

I see you. 

The young teenager, struggling to feel loved or worth it. 

Why do I make all these stupid mistakes anyway? Everyone must think I'm a failure.

I see you.

The young father desperately trying to make ends meet and provide for his rapidly growing family. 

What kind of man can't provide for his own family? I'm such a loser. 

I see you. 

The one in charge of the food committee. Frantically organizing each event to a T and making sure every demand is met because...

What will people think and I can't let them see how disorganized I actually am?!

I see you. 

The one who is always happy and go-lucky and has a ready smile. But underneath, the pain is deeper than you would ever care to admit or look at. 

No one would love me if they knew. It's too embarrassing anyway.

I see you. 

The one who is terrified of stepping out and trying that new thing or leading the pack.

I'll make a mistake and look foolish. What will people say?

And so we hide inside our safe places, stuck by the question, "What will people think?"  We pretend all is fine and good, but inside we are crying and screaming to be understood, loved, and accepted. After all, everyone else has it all together so why wouldn't I?

Perhaps it is time to let down some of those walls and let a couple people close to us get a glimpse inside. After all, they have noticed the cracks for years and are more than ready to help. We all know those relaxed people who openly agree to their shortcomings but seem to be at peace being less than perfect. The question is, "Will you dare?"

Will you dare to be vulnerable and take the risk of looking foolish? Will you dare to be humble enough to need help? Will you be courageous enough to admit you don't have it all together. 

And Jesus will find You, at the end of Your rope, in the midst of Your pain, in face of your fear. But you must let Him and His people in. The risk is high but the reward is great. ❤️

What happens when people open their hearts? They get better. - Haruki Murakami

This I Believe...

Back in high-school, I had a phenomenal English teacher who always challenged her students to write better. She enjoyed literature immensely and saw to it that we were introduced to all types. In the course of that semester, she got us to write a piece called, "This I Believe," about something that was poignant and resonated with our core. 

As we go through life, we change, circumstances change, and difficult things arise, but at the core of it all, this I believe...

I believe in a God that is silent at times but ultimately working things out for good. As His child, I know that I can trust Him with the things that are confusing, rest in Him for my weakness, and love Him for who He is. 

I believe that He is the Ultimate Healer, the Ageless Wisdom, the Sovereign King, and the Never-ending Ruler. I know He is in control, regardless of circumstances, etc. I believe that a believer's faith has become seasoned when he/she can stand with arms uplifted in praise with tears running down his/her face. He/she knows a God who has been faithful in the past and will continue to be.

As stated by song writer Chris Tomlin, 

There is an endless song 
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring
And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the Rock I cling.
How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your Name
I know I am loved by a King 
And it makes my heart want to sing

I believe that Christians have an Answer to share with the hurting world around them. Life does not get easier and the world does not get brighter, but Jesus lived among the broken and lost when He came to earth. We must go and do the same. 

Through our weak and feeble efforts, His beautiful grace and love will shine and grow in abundance. The people who walked in darkness will see great light and the glory of the Lord will come to rest upon them. They will see that He is good and deserves all praise and glory. 

Over the centuries, Christian after Christian has learned to praise God through difficulty. Jesus Himself was the perfect example. 

Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker! For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand.

Psalm 95:6-7 ESV

He Meets Us in the Ordinary

Behold, when ye are entered into the city, there shall a man meet you, bearing a pitcher of water; follow him into the house where he entereth in... Luke 22:10

Just a faithful servant doing his duty for the day, carrying water. He had no idea that a world-changing King had just sent His disciples to follow him for direction. 

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them... Luke 2:8

Just ordinary shepherds doing their job, tending their flock. Then the angel of the Lord appears and their peaceful night is catapulted from calm to breathless. A King had come. 

And as He walked by the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers. And Jesus said unto them, "Come after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men." Matthew 1:16

Just ordinary fishermen, rough and calloused, doing their job. Then a King walked by and called them to follow Him. 

And there came an angel of the Lord and sat under an oak which was in Ophrah, that pertained unto Joash the Abezrite: and his son Gideon threshed wheat by the winepress, to hide it from the Midianites. And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him, and said unto him. The Lord is with thee, thou mighty man of valour. Judges 6:11-12

Just an ordinary day, busy threshing wheat, and then an angelic messenger appeared. God had a job for him. 

Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father in law, the priest of Midian: and he led the flock to the backside of the desert, and came to the mountain of God, even to Horeb. And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in the midst of a bush, and he looked, and behold the bush burned with fire. And the bush was not consumed... Exodus 3:1-2

Just an ordinary shepherd taking good care of his flock, then a holy experience shakes his perspective and alters his life plan forever.

So he departed thence and found Elisha the son of Shaphat who was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen before him, and he with the twelfth: and Elijah passed by him and cast his mantle upon him. 1 Kings 19:19

Just an ordinary young man, plowing in the field and than an extraordinary calling is placed upon him. God had come.

Our God comes in the ordinary, the mundane, the normal. He is the One who meets people where they are and calls them to places they never dreamt of or imagined on their own. He wants us to praise Him, love Him, and communicate with Him wherever we are. He will come. ❤️

The Man on the Way

Tired, I sat by the side of the road
Debating which way to take next.
Exhausted with running the race on my own
I wished for a human to help.

Then I saw a strong frame turn around the short bend,
Slowly making His way.
His form and His gait looked familiar to me.
I watched till He stood where I stayed.

He said He would help me if I'd like to go,
But the way we would take would be hard.
Something about the kind look in His eyes
Made me say yes from deep in my heart.

So He tucked my poor hand in His strong weathered arm
And lifted me onto my feet.
Together we moved down the long winding road
To the narrowest difficult street.

He carried me over the boulders and rocks
When the going got tricky and tough.
Sometimes He spoke words of courage and cheer,

His presence was always enough.

At last, at the end of a long winding bend
We saw a large palace of gold.
The sun lit its face like a bright cheery smile
As we hastened to enter its fold.

A proud beaming King stood tall at the gate
With arms open wide to receive.
I bowed down in wonder feeling totally small,

Thinking I probably should leave.

But He gave me a crown and said I was His
Though I wondered how that could have been.
Then I saw my Companion's nail-printed hands,
And I knew what He'd given to me.

I remembered the troubles we faced on the trail
As we traveled the long lonely way.
He said He would be there and know what to do.
I could trust Him to show me the way.

I remembered how robbers had run at my chest
And tried to pierce life out of me.
But He stood inbetween and the harsh, well-aimed blows
Pierced the skin on His hands and His feet.

I hated to watch and tried hard to fix,
The damage I knew to be done.
But He kindly smiled and said it was fine.
He'd do it for one of His own.

I felt very safe as we traveled the road
To the palace He said was His home.
And I'm glad He came with me and showed me the Way.
Or I'd still be wandering alone.

How Do You See God?

A couple weeks ago, I jotted a few unedited lines into the notepad on my phone:

I used to think I had to leap
Across each hill and gulley.
But I have learned He'd rather carry
Me through dangerous valleys.

I used to think I should be strong
And carry all my burdens.
But Jesus showed me I am weak
And He would take the tough ones.

I've slowly learned, He isn't mad
When I'm lost in disaster.
Instead, He gently turns me round
To show me what is better.

I've even learned that if it hurts
He's teaching me a lesson.
The kind that brings me to a new
And stronger sense of heaven.

I do believe that I have found
That God up in His heaven
Is not a Master with a Whip
But a Father to His Children.

I don't know why, but somewhere in my childhood, I picked up the idea that I needed to be good in order to be loved and nice in order to be accepted. As I've grown older, God has been teaching more about who He actually is and what that means.

This week, I am entering a women's prison to share the love of Jesus Christ. As I talk with them and listen, I hear faulty beliefs about God such as He is alienated and far away or just laughs at us in our mess. As a friend of mine stated, "Everyone has a different concept or picture of what God is actually like." And from what I have observed, our view of God is directly impacted by the circumstances which we grew up in. An incarcerated man who saw his father shot to death in front of his eyes may believe that God is unjust and uncaring. A woman whose father divorced her mother when she was only nine may believe that God is distant and uncaring. A child whose father was critical or demanding may view God as malicious and holding a big stick. A teenager who grew up in a church or family with stringent rules may see God as a critical, easily-angered God in the sky unless pleased perfectly. And finally, a child who is raised in a family/community with grace and justice, love and truth, mercy and kindness, will view God as a loving and involved Father.

Unfortunately, life is not perfect. People and churches are far from perfect and until we find our perfection in Christ, we will remain far from it ourselves. 

So my thought is this. How many of us (yes, even in Conservative Christian circles) are living life with an incorrect view of God the Father? How many of us see Him as harsh, uncaring, untrustworthy, an unattainable Figure in the sky, or simply aloof and distant?

What if, He is different than You think? What if He is caring, loving, truthful, trustworthy, and very much involved in Your life. What if He orchestrated every minute of what happened to you? Carefully planned where you would be born, what family you would have, your church attendance, and what your life's work would be? What if He is waiting for you to really find and discover Him so that He can work in and through you as He really is? Perhaps your circumstances are not really a hindrance or frustration, but a platform where God can show His glory. Perhaps you are not a mistake but a masterpiece. Perhaps, you are not forgotten but remembered and loved. Perhaps your life is not at a dead end but at a new beginning. 

Many of the Pharisees and other Jewish people in the Bible completely missed Jesus Christ because He was too different and odd to fit their view point. Could it be, that we are guilty of shutting down God's work and the love of Jesus Christ because it shows up as "different", "odd", or "uncomfortable." Listen for His heart. He is there and waiting to be found. ❤️  

 

The Rat

A little rat
Jumped from a vat
And ran across our floor.
We squeaked in fear.
The critter dear
Had run behind the door!


We grabbed a broom
And with a zoom
We hit the poor rat hard!
He leaped and shrieked
Right at our feet
Then dashed out to our yard.

Sighs of relief
Came from our cheeks
When that rat disappeared.
The very thought
Of that gray blot
Had brought us nigh to tears.

So now our kitchen
Floor is fitted
With good old traps as needed,
And that old rat
From our poor vat
Will wish that he had heeded.

                                     C.H.

Married... But Lonely...

 In response to my post, Living Solo in a Double World that I posted awhile ago, a friend remarked that there are many lonely people in marriages as well. Through the course of conversation (aka texting) we reached the conclusion that she could write a guest post and I would simply edit it. So here it is. 

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Shari is a busy mother of four boys who enjoys homeschooling, getting to know her community and especially other cultures. She has been married to the love of her life, Randy, for thirteen years and makes her home in Ontario. Passionate about Jesus Christ, she wants everyone to know Him, especially her loved ones. 

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I'm blessed to be in a marriage where we pray and go to bed together almost every night. We try to communicate like adults without whining or raising our voices. We listen and then gently share our feelings, opinions, and disagreements in order to better ourselves and each other. 

I remember a time early on in our marriage where I wanted my husband to help me do the dishes and clean up the kitchen but he was on his phone playing games. I'm embarrassed to say, I was banging around in the kitchen hoping he would catch the hint and give me a hand. But he didn't! Later, when we talked about it, he told me to please not "beat around the bush" but simply ask him if I wished for something. I've learned he doesn't catch hints very well but isn't trying to ignore me either. Clear communication is so important in a good marriage. 

When I do feel lonely in my marriage, I do well to ask these questions:

#1) Do I depend on my husband to take the place in my heart that only God can fill?

There is a cavity in every human heart that only God can fill and sometimes I try stocking it with other things (including my husband). Psalm 63:5 says, "You satisfy me more than the richest feast." I will be disappointed over and over again if I expect him to be perfect, always available, constantly tuned in, and meeting all my needs. It is SO important not to expect our spouse to be perfect. I fail and need forgiveness, so I will also allow him to fail and extend my forgiveness.

#2) What tone do I set in my home? Is home my husband's favourite place to be? Is it a safe and comfortable place of restoration for him? Am I a safe and enjoyable place for my husband? 

1 Corinthians 11:9 says, "And the man was not made for the woman but woman for the man." It is easy for me to expect my husband to serve me. This often leaves me feeling disappointed. Also, I believe it is important to be an encouraging partner. No husband enjoys coming home to a nagging, discontent, and frazzled wife. 

#3) Am I comparing my marriage to another marriage and jealous of someone else's? What is my standard of comparison for my marriage? God's Word or others?

2 Corinthians 10:12 says, "But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement." Isn't it funny how two wives can be jealous of each other? One might be envious of another's financial stability while another is jealous that the other's husband is home more often. Of course we know that it is best to focus on what we have versus what we don't although it is hard to put this into practise sometimes. Rejoice in the unique beauty of your marriage and allow God to use you and your husband in the way that He sees best. 

#4) How is technology affecting our marriage? 

It is so easy to let our minds relax after a busy day by putting our feet up and letting our phone screens occupy our time until we decide it's time to crash into our bed. Maybe I am frustrated and lonely because my spouse is spending the majority or even all of his leisure time on a device and not open to deep conversations. I may need to clearly ask my partner to please put his phone down because I have something important that needs to be discussed. Of course it is best to discuss and put healthy boundaries in place for technology as a couple. 

Marriage can sometimes have unexpected turns and the dynamics change where we need to choose love even though those natural feelings may not be there. You or your spouse may be hit with a spiritual or physical struggle that requires the other to step up and be strong for him/her. Maybe one or the other has broken marriage vows and need to get back on track.

It always blesses me to remember God's heartbeat for His children. A bit ago, I read through the book of Jeremiah and saw Israel being compared to an unfaithful wife in its first chapters. It is interesting to compare marriage with God's relationship to Israel. He chose Israel over and over again and stayed committed even when she strayed. Her forgave her time and time again. God does this for me too. Because He continually forgives me, I can extend this forgiveness to others. It is also beautiful to compare our present marriage to the marriage of Christ and the Church. This is definitely the most beautiful and fulfilling marriage in its purest form. 

For some closing thoughts, I like to read 1 Corinthians 7 every now and then to be reminded of the powerful influence we have on our spouse in marriage. 

1 Peter 3:1&2 speaks directly to us as wives. "In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives." 

Am I willing to step out and the first to break the cycle of 50/50 and be willing to give more than I feel I am getting? Marriage is to be the ultimate picture of Christ's sacrifice for His Bride. 

Blessings to all!
Shari Horst