Living Solo in a Double World

Upon some urging by one of my sisters, I have decided to construct a blog post containing some advice for singles living in a world where many of their friends, relatives, and fellow church members are married. To set the record straight, I am very grateful for the life God has given me and believe He gives the gift of singleness and marriage to different people according to His will. Which leads me to... 

#1) Find God's purpose for You. 

If at this point you are unmarried, obviously that is God's plan for you at this point. Choose to be grateful and to serve the people around you. Ask God, what He would have you do, and you can be sure He will bring you many opportunities. Bless others and the Lord by serving faithfully where He calls you. Go on missions trips. Give money to the church. Take baking to neighbours. Wash someone's vehicle. Hold a young mother's child in church. Get involved at a soup kitchen. Etc. Etc. The opportunities are endless if you look beyond yourself. 

#2) Find your tribe. 

There is a bible verse that states that it is not good for man to be alone. I have observed that all people, regardless of their spot in life, need others. We do not do well alone and single people are no exception. Find a family to belong to if you don't have your own close by. Help other young families with their children if they will let you. Spend time with good friends. 

#3) Eat with others. 

If you are a single person who finds it hard to provide your own meals, drop broad hints like, "I haven't had a good casserole in awhile!" Then, if someone does finally invite you for lunch, make sure you praise the hostess' work in voluminous tones! Perhaps they will have you back. 😉

#4) Navigate weddings well. 

If you are on your own, you may end up sitting in a row with six other couples to listen to a sermon about something that doesn't apply to you. But wait, it does. Remember first of all, that you can sit up straight because your Partner is in the row with you. I have never known Jesus to forsake me. Second, because of Him the marriage sermon most assuredly will apply to you. Bring it into perspective and apply it to your relationship with Jesus Christ. Also, I have gleaned many helpful bits of advice for relationships with other people from marriage sermons. Love, forbearance, understanding, communication, and commitment are needed across the board.

#5) Use your time well. 

As single people, we are not tied down to a family or partner. As my father has stated, "You are as free as a bird." This can be both good and bad. I have seen singles who waste their time and resources on completely selfish pursuits. On the opposite side, I have observed singles pouring their hearts and entire lives out for people around them and actually leveraging the advantages of singlehood to make an eternal impact. Choose to use your freedom for His glory. 

#6) Take your loneliness to the Right Source. 

Single people will be lonely and left out at times. It is part of the package. Nobody else can be at fault for the fact that they have children and you don't or that they have someone to talk to every night and you don't. Find your satisfaction in Jesus Christ. He will be there for every lonely time and every time you are misunderstood. 

#7) Allow other people to speak into your life. 

I have had married people tell me that they feel sorry for me that I don't have the benefit of a partner to sharpen me and help me grow. So I have come up with a solution. I allow people to speak into my life. Even ask for it sometimes. Choosing to learn from others, seeking their advice, and allowing them to speak into my life have become very important to me. 

#8) Have healthy relationships with the opposite gender. 

This is a bit of a dicey topic, but it is essential. I have found it extremely important in my single existence, to have male voices speak into my life. These come in the form of my father, brothers, friends, pastors, co-teachers, etc. God created both genders with strengths and weaknesses and I believe we do well to have healthy, God-honouring relationships where we aspire to build each other up in the Kingdom of Heaven. And of course, from a woman's perspective, I appreciate the advice on buying a vehicle, the man who fixes my tire when the rim is bent, and the brother who tells me to stop worrying too much, etc. 

In conclusion, I would like to state that being single is a blessing and a gift in serving the Lord in His kingdom. May we all choose to be content and joyful where God has placed us for His service.